30 May 2009

Tubes

Yesterday I had my first of many reconstruction surgeries. I have tubes everywhere, or so it feels. The evil drainage tube (from the mastectomy) is back. And I have a sack of fluid pain medication which is pumping into me via two tubes.

At this time, I am uncomfortable and groggy, but more information on this surgery and the future surgeries will be forthcoming.

27 May 2009

Wig Free

So I tried going without the wig in public about a week and a half ago. Without the eyebrows, the experience freaked me out and I put a hat on after seeing my scary reflection in too many bathrooms. Last weekend, I tried going wigless again, and this time, since my eyebrows are growing back, the process was much less painful. So much so, that I haven't put the wig back on. Yippee!!!

20 May 2009

Shadows of the Night

It's official. My eyebrows fell out more than three months after originally scheduled. Now I have eyebrow shadows -- meaning hints of tiny, dark hairs growing on my face, above my eyes, in the shape of eyebrows. Luckily I am rarely near small children, or I might frighten them.

12 May 2009

WTF

Chemo ended over a month ago. My facial hair (eyebrows, eyelashes) were due to fall out when I started Taxol in late January. Guess what? Now is the time when I have practically no eyelashes or eyebrows. WTF!!!

Just as I am contemplating never wearing the wig again -- all I need is for the slight receding hairline look to fill in -- I lose all of my facial hair. A perfect view of my childhood facial scar is available for all to see. Is the hair god messing with me? WTF?!?!?

Someone please explain the hairloss process to me. I am supposed to be moving forward with my life, not drawing eyebrows on my face. In late March, I even returned the unused eyebrow pencils to Target because obviously I wasn't going to need them -- I still had eyebrows.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

05 May 2009

Someone like me?

Last night I attended a potluck supper sponsored by the local breast cancer support group. While I enjoyed myself, I can't help but think how odd it is to spend time with people whose main connection to each other is that we share a personal history of bizarrely mutating cells within our bodies.

So what do I chose to do tonight? Go to my first meeting of the young breast cancer survivors, held in Columbus. I made my first initial contact with this group a few weeks ago, and today is my first opportunity to attend. I am curious to see what it will be like to meet with women who are closer to my age. While I like the women in my local support group, they are all much older and in very different stages of life than me.

Maybe tonight I will meet women who are like me.