Full Support

Yesterday I wore a real bra for the first time since September 2008. Since the mastectomy, I have worn a mess of medical bras, light weight Gap sporty bras, prosthetics inside and outside bras, and nothing. The wearing of the bra was as uneventful as it should be.

Last week I went to Nordstrom's for a fitting. I chose Nordstrom for two reasons: customer service and their prosthetic program. Prior to my catching the cancer, my shopping experiences in department store lingerie departments had been less than comforting. Once when seeking a minimizing bra to fit into a special order bridesmaid dress, the sales lady loudly informed me that I could "just duct tape 'em, honey." At other stores, the sales clerks were nonexistent or uninformed. The only store that was ever helpful was Nordstrom's.

I was a bit hesitant about foisting my chopped-up torso onto an unsuspecting sales person, especially since the only people to have seen my winking smiley face (my nickname for my scars) have been my medical teams, my husband, and my mother. So while I got the go-ahead to wear bras from my surgeon a few months ago, I put it off. In my hunt for a nice lingerie store in the area, I discovered that Nordstrom's has a Prosthesis Program. I called ahead to explain my situation and was told I wouldn't need an appointment. So last Friday, I first went to a spa for a facial, and then to Nordstrom's for a bra fitting. The sales ladies were wonderful. They barely batted an eye; just went about grabbing different bras, whipping them on and off me until we found 3 that I liked. Their only concern was if I had healed from my surgeries.

If I could afford it, I don't know if I would shop anywhere else for bras ever again. I rarely leave a store feeling good about myself (a long boring story/rant about how clothing retailers don't make and/or sell  clothing for tall women and/or sell them in their stores), but I did on Friday. Thank you, Nordstrom's.

Chemo Killed the Radio Star

I don't know how to write what I want to write. My lack of writing for the past few months was not because I had nothing to say but rather I felt the topic was too confusing, too emotional, and possibly too personal. Luckily, I have my fur baby, Betsy, who has been my nurse/emotional support cat throughout this entire experience, in my lap as I write this post.

Once a cancer victim/patient (you choose) completes chemo and is done with surgery, the assumption of many is that the crisis is over. While the medical treatments relating to the diagnosis may have ended, the emotional healing has barely begun and side effects from chemo may have caused unseen and permanent damage. In one of my early posts, I mentioned a side effect of chemo for breast cancer patients: menopause. While going through chemo, it is common for the female patient to stop ovulating and getting periods. And it happened to me. The younger the patient, the more likely the odds that the ovulation will return after chemo treatments end, so we were optimistic.  Since chemo ended, my periods have been erratic. I have spoken to doctors and nurses, and read online discussion boards, and learned that it can two years for periods to regulate after chemo. My two year marker will be in April. April 8th to be exact.

I don't want to write a long post today. To explain my path and experiences over the past few months would take a while, and will try about it, just not right now. What I will say is that I think my odds of conceiving a baby naturally are low. I came to that realization yesterday. I am no longer going to be cautiously optimistic about getting pregnant. I know the two year marker is still two months away, but the statistical likelihood of my menstrual cycle suddenly normalizing that quickly is nil. And that makes me sad.

Breast Cancer is a money making industry

Article on the many unnecessary surgical biopsies performed in U.S. hospitals: "Study of Breast Biopsies Finds Surgery Used Too Extensively," by Denise Grady, published in the New York Times, 2/18/11