Decision to Make

Two weeks from today I will have my reconstruction surgery. I have been waiting for this day to come for a while. I am undergoing the DIEP procedure which means that my stomach fat will be used to build my breasts.

I have chosen to have a prophylactic mastectomy on the left breast. If all goes according to plan, I will live for many more years, and I don't want to spend those years being worried about a recurrence of breast cancer.

So about the decision that I need to make... Do I chose to have the sentinel lymph node on the left side biopsied during this procedure? Not a really big decision, but a decision that should not be made lightly. By having the lymph node removed, I develop the risk of developing lymphedema. It won't be a high risk, but nonetheless, it will be a risk.

When I had a mammogram in August, no lumps were found. But last year, when I had the mammogram, ultrasound, and MRI, the second tumor was not noticeable. The second lump was only found during the biopsy of the removed breast tissue.

My least favorite part of the breast medical community is when they tell me it is my decision to make. I don't know what I am doing. Even one year later, I still don't know what is best for my body or my mental state. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll know what is best.