You Don't Know What You Would Do

USA Today published an article titled, 'Preventative breast cancer surgery has some docs alarmed." The article informs readers about the growing trend of prophylactic mastectomies. The article didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer are more likely to have their breast(s) removed. I had my first breast removed because the cancer was starting to spread inside of my breast. I had the second breast removed the next year. I don't regret my choice.

I am writing this post in response to the commenters on the USA Today website who are judging women who chose to remove a breast or two prophylactic-ly. Y'all suck. Until you have been diagnosed with cancer, don't mock or judge or know that you would never do what I and other women have done. You don't know what you would do.

New Fertility Resource for Cancer Patients

SaveMyFertility is a new educational resource on preserving fertility for cancer patients (men and women) and their doctors hosted by The Hormone Foundation, The Endocrine Society, and the Northwestern University's Oncofertility Consortium.

For more information, see article published on 6/7/11 on HealthCanal.com, "SaveMyFertility is the First-ever, Comprehensive Bilingual Resource for Preserving Fertility for Cancer Patients."

If you read this blog, you know that I am now dealing the infertility after effects of chemo. I wish resources like this one had been available to me prior to chemo. If you know anyone who is about to go through chemo, please make sure they (male or female) are aware of the potential effects to their fertility and that there are doctors and scientists who want to help.

Graduate Student Study on Cancer Survivors and Post-Treatment Life

Reposting from Facebook: Cancer survivors -- help with my master's research! Read the note below & email yacancerstudy@gmail.com. Please repost! 
Posted on 5/27/11

If you are a cancer survivor between the ages of 18 and 50, could you please take five minutes to fill out an anonymous online survey for my master’s thesis? I'm a cancer survivor myself and an Occupational Therapy student at California State University, Dominguez Hills.  I’m trying to improve the quality of life for those who are experiencing long-term side effects of cancer treatment. My research team has already completed phase I of the study where we interviewed young adult survivors about their experiences with post-treatment life. For phase II we have developed a survey, based on those interviews, that will attempt to see how widespread these experiences are and eventually develop a plan to help survivors improve their quality of life and successfully engage in meaningful activities. The requirements for participating in the study are a diagnosis of cancer between the ages of 18 and 50, chemotherapy and/or radiation as part of your treatment, and completion of your chemotherapy and/or radiation treatment within the last five years. If you or someone you know fits these requirements, please send an email to yacancerstudy@gmail.com with your age and the details of your treatment (surgery, chemo, etc…) and we will send you a link to the online survey. Please repost this on your Facebook page or email to any survivors you know. The more participants we can get, the more we will be able to make a case for this important type of treatment!

Cruel Marketing

I like the Gap Corporation. Very few other companies have expansive lines of clothing for tall women (I am 6' 1/2"). All of the Gap companies (Banana Republic, Old Navy, Athleta, The Gap) have tall sizes for most of their clothes. But this post is not  going to be one of my manic rants about how very few companies make clothes for tall women (which I can go on and on about).

A couple of weeks ago, the Gap began sending me emails promoting their new maternity line. One email is fine. It lets me know about their new product. Two is kind of annoying. But the third email upset me. And I know don't think the emails will stop at just three. Why does the Gap think I want to purchase maternity clothes? At no time have I done anything to cause the Gap to think that I am pregnant, or even planning to be pregnant. I haven't even purchased clothes at babyGap for my nephew or any other baby. Most people probably just delete these messages without a second thought. The Gap marketing team is probably just sending these messages to all women of childbearing age. But...

As someone who recently come to the conclusion that she will probably never get pregnant naturally, I find these emails to be unnecessarily cruel. I know that I am too sensitive these days. I cry easily at TV shows with fertility storylines, babies, and young families. I get upset when I see pregnant teenagers in the grocery store. Don't worry, I'm in therapy. I am working through these confusing emotions, but infertility is not unique to me. I may not be a spokesperson for the infertility movement, but I would like to ask the Gap to reconsider this campaign. Women experiencing conception difficulties may already feel alone, left out, and isolated. Everywhere I go, whether it be a restaurant or Facebook, I see babies and pregnant women. I don't want to also receive email reminders of what I'm missing out on.

To the Gap Corporation, I do have one suggestion: promotional flyers at ob/gyn offices. Pregnant women are a captive audience in the waiting and examining rooms. Some of them may not already be Gap customers, and might need some new clothes. If pharmaceutical companies can plaster their ads all over doctor's offices, why can't a clothing company?

Full Support

Yesterday I wore a real bra for the first time since September 2008. Since the mastectomy, I have worn a mess of medical bras, light weight Gap sporty bras, prosthetics inside and outside bras, and nothing. The wearing of the bra was as uneventful as it should be.

Last week I went to Nordstrom's for a fitting. I chose Nordstrom for two reasons: customer service and their prosthetic program. Prior to my catching the cancer, my shopping experiences in department store lingerie departments had been less than comforting. Once when seeking a minimizing bra to fit into a special order bridesmaid dress, the sales lady loudly informed me that I could "just duct tape 'em, honey." At other stores, the sales clerks were nonexistent or uninformed. The only store that was ever helpful was Nordstrom's.

I was a bit hesitant about foisting my chopped-up torso onto an unsuspecting sales person, especially since the only people to have seen my winking smiley face (my nickname for my scars) have been my medical teams, my husband, and my mother. So while I got the go-ahead to wear bras from my surgeon a few months ago, I put it off. In my hunt for a nice lingerie store in the area, I discovered that Nordstrom's has a Prosthesis Program. I called ahead to explain my situation and was told I wouldn't need an appointment. So last Friday, I first went to a spa for a facial, and then to Nordstrom's for a bra fitting. The sales ladies were wonderful. They barely batted an eye; just went about grabbing different bras, whipping them on and off me until we found 3 that I liked. Their only concern was if I had healed from my surgeries.

If I could afford it, I don't know if I would shop anywhere else for bras ever again. I rarely leave a store feeling good about myself (a long boring story/rant about how clothing retailers don't make and/or sell  clothing for tall women and/or sell them in their stores), but I did on Friday. Thank you, Nordstrom's.

Chemo Killed the Radio Star

I don't know how to write what I want to write. My lack of writing for the past few months was not because I had nothing to say but rather I felt the topic was too confusing, too emotional, and possibly too personal. Luckily, I have my fur baby, Betsy, who has been my nurse/emotional support cat throughout this entire experience, in my lap as I write this post.

Once a cancer victim/patient (you choose) completes chemo and is done with surgery, the assumption of many is that the crisis is over. While the medical treatments relating to the diagnosis may have ended, the emotional healing has barely begun and side effects from chemo may have caused unseen and permanent damage. In one of my early posts, I mentioned a side effect of chemo for breast cancer patients: menopause. While going through chemo, it is common for the female patient to stop ovulating and getting periods. And it happened to me. The younger the patient, the more likely the odds that the ovulation will return after chemo treatments end, so we were optimistic.  Since chemo ended, my periods have been erratic. I have spoken to doctors and nurses, and read online discussion boards, and learned that it can two years for periods to regulate after chemo. My two year marker will be in April. April 8th to be exact.

I don't want to write a long post today. To explain my path and experiences over the past few months would take a while, and will try about it, just not right now. What I will say is that I think my odds of conceiving a baby naturally are low. I came to that realization yesterday. I am no longer going to be cautiously optimistic about getting pregnant. I know the two year marker is still two months away, but the statistical likelihood of my menstrual cycle suddenly normalizing that quickly is nil. And that makes me sad.

Breast Cancer is a money making industry

Article on the many unnecessary surgical biopsies performed in U.S. hospitals: "Study of Breast Biopsies Finds Surgery Used Too Extensively," by Denise Grady, published in the New York Times, 2/18/11