You Don't Know What You Would Do

USA Today published an article titled, 'Preventative breast cancer surgery has some docs alarmed." The article informs readers about the growing trend of prophylactic mastectomies. The article didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer are more likely to have their breast(s) removed. I had my first breast removed because the cancer was starting to spread inside of my breast. I had the second breast removed the next year. I don't regret my choice.

I am writing this post in response to the commenters on the USA Today website who are judging women who chose to remove a breast or two prophylactic-ly. Y'all suck. Until you have been diagnosed with cancer, don't mock or judge or know that you would never do what I and other women have done. You don't know what you would do.

My Hospital Stay -- the quickie version

So it turns out that a hospital stay is not very relaxing. Nurses, technicians, residents, and interns all wandering in out of your room at all hours of the night and day. During my stay, mid-afternoon was probably the best time to sleep.

My operation went very well, and the initial biopsy done on my sentinel lymph node during surgery showed a clean path which means that the cancer did not spread to the lymph nodes (for more information on sentinel lymph nodes, see
this page from cancer.gov).

Due to some unexpected bleeding in the middle of the night after my surgery, followed by my blood pressure dropping to below 90 for a brief period of time, my surgeon suggested that I stay another night in the hospital. I must say that if you need to have breast surgery, the Cleveland Clinic is the place to go. Warm blankets before, during, and after surgery. Plus the CEO of the CCF wants all breast patients to stay on the VIP floor, so that was pretty cool. I had my own room, and Brandon was allowed to stay with me (he slept on a fold-out chair). The VIP floor has it own menu, so I was allowed to choose my meals, which were very nice. I had filet mignon for one of my dinners. Sadly I missed out on my blueberry pancakes when it was thought that I might need to return to surgery due to the bleeding.

So the reason why I am behind in updating the blog is not totally related to my health. Hurricane Ike whipped through my little town on Sunday night. We received no rain, but heavy winds which the local paper reported as being as strong as 75mph. The electrical power to my house has still not returned. I've heard that it might return this weekend which is not good news to the person who had hoped to watch lots of DVDs this week. I guess it is a good thing that I also like to read and sleep.

Tomorrow is a big day!

Later this week, I will continue detailing the order of events that brought me to this monumental change in my life. But tomorrow, I will be in surgery. I just called the hospital and my surgery is scheduled for 9:30am. I am to report to the hospital at 8:30am. Since I am not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight tonight, I am glad that the surgery is scheduled relatively early in the morning. And once I am in surgery, Brandon, my mother and father can go eat a huge breakfast, and I will be none the wiser :)

Earlier today I spoke with my physician's assistant who reassured me that the surgical scars will not interfere with my wedding dress lines. Phew! Last night I emailed a photo of the dress to the surgeon, who had promised to try to avoid cutting me in a way that would show any physical scars on my wedding day.

What I can't wrap my head around is how I don't even feel sick. I don't look sick. The lump isn't even painful. The bruise from my biopsy is the only visual detail of the horridness that is inside me. And tomorrow, I lose a breast. Very surreal, very surreal indeed.