Hat Free Zone

Last winter, I always had my bald head covered with either a cranial prosthetic or hat. I didn't want anyone to see my hair-free head. Not even Brandon. The idea of being bald made me unhappy and uncomfortable, the reality was even worse. A hat became a symbol of hiding. Now a year later, it is winter again, and the ice and snow show no signs of relenting. And I don't want to wear a hat.

I know hats are good for you. A hat keeps your body warm. And warm is good. Very good. But I still don't want to wear a hat. Hopefully, many years from now and after many therapy sessions, I will overcome my remaining psychological issues pertaining to chemo (so I apologize to you, those who read this blog, for the continuing chemo-related posts).

The reason why I choose to wear a hat this winter is so I can remain healthy for my next surgery. I don't want any pesky winter ailment holding me back from getting my next surgical procedure. Someday I will be normal again. I will wear a hat because I want to wear a hat, and I won't have another surgery on the horizon.

Oh my blog, I haven't forgotten you

The month of January has passed by quickly. I have topics which I would like to discuss but my energy and enthusiasm levels have been low. The December holidays were not a totally happy time, and consequently my spirits have been low. When my spirits are low, I am less inclined to share my thoughts and comments.

Two weeks ago I started Taxol. So far, Taxol is much easier to withstand than the A/C. Nausea no longer haunts for me days at a time. My physical energy levels are higher. Before I receive the Taxol, due to concerns regarding an allergic-reaction I receive Benadryl intravenously. Whoa! Makes me stupid and sleepy very quickly.

I am also in the process of losing more hair. I found a pile of eyelashes on my laptop. My eyebrows are also due to fall out. I am not looking forward to drawing on my eyebrows. Women who draw them on always look really creepy to me. I have thing about eyebrows, and have for a while. When I lived in Chicago, and rode the bus to work, I would often spy on people's eyebrows. I don't know why. I guess I found eyebrows to be fascinating -- how some people pluck and pluck, and others are keep their's long and shaggy. My plan was to purchase some fake glasses to hide my ever decreasing eyebrows but I haven't yet found any. Maybe I'll see if I can find some cheap glasses at Target over the weekend.

Hair Away

Hair is mostly gone now. I wonder if spray-on hair is still available for purchase? If I remember correctly from the late night infomercials, spray-on hair needed hairs to attach, of which I've got plenty random ones sprouting out of my head.

It's raining hair

The wig is still in its bag. I am not going to wear it until I absolutely need it. I still have hair on my head. Luckily (or not so much so) I have tons of hair. My hair is thin and I have tons of it. My massive amount of hairs means I am able to delay the inevitable of the wig, but at the same time, it means cleaning up after the many hairs on my pillow in the mornings, or removing the clumps of hair on my hands (or from the shower drain) when washing my hair, or just finding hairs on my scarf at the end of the day.

My hair is everywhere. It is worse than the cats' fur. This evening was spent wrapping packages for the family. Not only will my relatives be receiving thoughtful gifts, but also strands of my hair. As much as I tried to catch all the hair, as I boxed up the packages to be mailed, I would see hairs stuck in the tape on what was an otherwise beautifully wrapped package.

Bizarrely enough, at a work holiday function, a colleague complimented me on my hair style. I'm not sure what that means about my hair on other days since my current style is whatever I can manage without using any hair styling implements (also known as brushes and combs). I even have a slight "comb-over" to cover a tiny, developing bald spot along my part. Is it now hip to be a partially balding young woman? Or have I just been in rural Ohio too long?

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hair -- the first thing I think of when I hear the word chemo is bald people. Chemo makes people lose their hair. Since being diagnosed with cancer, I have learned that not everyone loses their hair. Some people don't lose their hair towards the end of their treatment. Some people don't lose it at all (and contribute their hair retention to ice packs). In the end, I think, in my all my pure and glowing ignorance of medicine, that the hair loss is dependent upon the drugs and an individual's body's reaction to the drugs.

The drugs that I am currently receiving, Adriamycin and Cytoxin, cause hair loss, or alopecia, as hair loss is medically-referred. Everytime I think of alopecia, I think of Stan Sitwell on "Arrested Development" whose eyebrows kept falling off of his face. With the AC drugs, first I'll begin to lose my hair in patches. Any hair that I don't lose with AC will be gone with when I begin Taxol (in mid-January), including eyebrows and eyelashes.

I am due to lose my hair sometime next week. I am not sure exactly when but it is soon. Yesterday I went to get my hair cut at a salon. My hair was very long, a little past my shoulders; the longest it had been in years. The stylist cut my hair fairly short, and thinned it out a bit. I have a lot of hair -- lots and lots of strands of hair. I'm not looking forward to cleaning up after the clumps as they fall out. I did purchase a silk pillowcase. Supposedly it well help me retain my hair for a little but longer; I don't really see how but am willing to give it a try.